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Miss Independent

April 9, 2010

won’t do wot you tell me

Originally uploaded by oblivion head

Have you ever noticed the term Miss Independent is never seen as Mrs. Independent? There’s a reason for that. Marriage does not include independence in its definition. I think my independence and pride sometimes get in the way of my marriage. After a big blow out argument with Gi today I sat back and thought about some of the things I said and how I acted. I realized how selfish I can be. Love is not SELFISH. Love SEEKETH NOT HER OWN.

I have begun thinking about this topic of independence in marriage recently for several reasons. I don’t want to say that one cannot be independent at all in marriage. But, you have to use caution with this idea. I am a very independent woman. I always have been. Growing up as an only child contributed to this fact. God guided my life so that I would be this way, but now I’m married so what do I do with it? What do you do when your husband needs to find a job and it could lead you across the country in the middle of nursing school? Do you drop your schooling and follow right away? That doesn’t sound very independent. I fight against this idea because I feel like I will lose myself. But, I’ve come to realize that when you make that decision to be married you both make a decision give up some of your independence. You give and take. I still don’t know exactly how I feel about these issues.

But, I do know that I LOVE my husband. And according to the paragraph up above love is not


devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one’s own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others

I have seen selfishness only destroy and I don’t plan to allow that into my marriage. Giles is the most important person, idea, thing, dream…that ever happened to me and I choose him and our love above everything else. This is not to say that there aren’t days that I don’t struggle to love, but after almost two years and many days of struggle our marriage is stronger than ever and it continues to grow. Our love is no longer a warm and fuzzy feeling, but it is a deep and lasting love that I never experienced before we were married. I think ‘married love’ is the most meaningful concept alive and on the good days it is a great image of what our God’s love is for us. God loves through the bad days and He stands right beside us even when we yell He sees the dirtiest parts of our lives and he still loves us. God’s love is never selfish.

 I hope I can learn to love Giles God’s way.

So today I will not stick my tongue out and pretend to be on my own and Miss Independent. I will rely on God because I know I need him and I will trust Giles to make the right decisions and submit to Him even when it means I might have to sacrifice my independent spirit for a season. In the end our love will remain and that is what really matters, because to tell you the truth I don’t think I’d want to be alone.

I Corinthians 13:8 – Love never fails, but whether there be prophecies they will fail, whether there be tongues they shall cease, whether there be knowledge it shall vanish away.

One Comment leave one →
  1. thattallblondegirl permalink
    April 9, 2010 11:29 AM

    Danielle, I love the changes with your blog page and I love this blog in particular! You are such an encouragement. I do hope that you and Gi will figure things out. Selfishly I hope you won’t move yet. I need you in my life 🙂 But I hope that yall both make the correct decision and follow God and your hearts to the right place where you both will be happy.

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