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Faith and a Second Chance at Life.

July 11, 2010

Yesterday something life changing happened to me. I flipped my car. The accident wasn’t life changing because I was physically injured, in fact I walked away with only a few cuts and bruises.  It was life changing because in the instantaneous moment that it happened – I knew I might die.

Yesterday was supposed to turn out much differently than it did. My plan was to get up at 4 AM and drive to a town about three hours away to run a 4 mile trail run. After the race I was going to travel three more hours to go to Denver and visit my in-laws. All week I had been looking forward to getting out of Rangely and that morning my adrenaline was pumping to go run the race.  Well from the very beginning of the drive nothing felt right. The GPS led me in an unfamiliar direction and told me to turn onto a dirt road . I knew this dirt road , it’s called Deserado Rd. and I had been told there was a creek running over it so I knew my car wouldn’t make it. I turned around and tried to find and alternative route on the GPS, but had no such luck. Plan B was to go to a gas station all the way back in Rangely and get directions . By the time I knew where to go I wasn’t going to make it to the race in time. I was so frusturated, all the training and $28 fee went down the drain. I argued with myself about whether I should go home and sleep before heading to Denver or just go ahead  and continue driving. I was feeling tired and so I decided sleep was the best option for my safety ( how ironic). 

Here’s where things get interesting. Shortly after i fell asleep I had a dream. It was a very random dream like they usually are. I was in a zoo and I stole a kitten. Shortly afterwards a Park Ranger confronted me. He told me to get in my car and drive down the road and we would talk about it. Once we were in the car he starting confronting me and he was very angry. I was upset and distracted and I ran off the road with my car…I kept hitting the brakes but they failed and the last thing I remember before waking up was my heart pounding in my head and I was flying in the air into a river. The last thoughts I remember having in the dream were, ” Oh no Giles is going to be so mad about the car” and ” I’m going to die.”

A couple hours later I was calmly eating grapefruit with Giles and laughing as I told him about the dream. When I had finished telling him the dream Giles said, ” Maybe that means your going to get in an accident.”  disturbed, I replied , ” Oh whatever Giles, don’t say things like that!” Before I left I got backup directions on google maps and it told me to go the same way ( minus deserado rd. ) I had been going earlier that morning for the race. I had traveled this road the full way to a small town called Meeker with Giles one other time this summer and I didn’t like it. I couldn’t tell you why, I just thought it was a creepy road and I told Giles those exact words before I left.  Before Giles left for class he told me to be careful and if I broke down to call him and he would get a ride to come and pick me up.  You see, our car has been stuttering on the mountainous roads out here, and we’ve driven so much this summer that the tires are now bald, but we didn’t have $600 dollars off hand to replace them so we had decided to let them go just a little bit longer. I would just be careful I told myself. Giles told me to be safe and that he loved me with a very uneasy look on his face, ( this uneasiness was very unusual for him by the way). At that moment I considered not going, and than I considered finding another way, but highway 64 was the quickest route and I was excited to see my family.  I left…but I still had a really uneasy feeling in my stomach.

About an hour later, I flipped our little green friend, Passat.  I was not very familiar with the curves in the road. I got distracted at the wrong moment right on a large curve and ran off of the road about 2-3 feet. It’s happened to the best of us, and I didn’t think it would be such a big deal, but the tires were bald and I overcorrected to the left and hit my brakes a little  too hard and before I knew it my car was sliding across the road up onto the shoulder and within probably a total of 30 seconds the entire car flipped over into the middle of the road. To even write it out and think about it again is so surreal. I remember thinking the exact same things I had in my dream when I felt it flying through the air – I’m going to die, and than when I was hanging upside down and realized I was still alive I thought, oh no the car, Gi is going to kill me! I remember closing my eyes really tight and opening them again to make sure this wasn’t another dream. It wasn’t. After about 5 seconds in the air I realized I was still in the middle of a curvy road and I had to get out before I got hit. I unbuckled that lovely seat belt , fell on my chest to the ground and crawled out through the passenger window which was the only window that had been blown out. I walked around dazed for a bit and listened to the cows mooing very loudly at me from across the street and than I watched them run away and I thought to myself,  man it must be bad if even the cows know something is wrong! About a minute later a car came around the curve and called 911.  I won’t bore you with the details of the police reports . I will say however that I was utterly humiliated standing by my now  pitiful looking car for what seemed like an eternity while everyone and their mother slowly drove by staring at the wreckage.  Giles was there within an hour…and despite all that my dream had predicted before hand, he was definitely not mad- he was just glad that I was alive.

Everything about yesterday was strange and surreal, yet I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had his hand in it all. Many times in the past few years I have heard people ask, “If there is a God, why does he allow bad things to happen?” I even started to ask ‘why’ yesterday while I was staring at the glass shattered all over the road, but after pondering this question for a long time here’s my answer. It may not be the most intelligent thing you’ve ever heard, but through faith building experiences it is where I stand. Our life here on this earth is a vapor. God wants us to spend our eternal life in heaven with Him, and while He cares about us here on earth , well…it’s earth, the world, imperfect unlike heaven. God created us to live on this earth for only a time and He gives us the choice to love, believe, and serve him or to reject him while we are here. He did not promise us a perfect life while we exist on this earth, bad things happen to everyone not just those who have done wrong and he doesn’t just reward those who have been good either. I believe  God allows life to happen. This might sound confusing but while God can control everyone and everything I don’t believe he does. He wants us to make our own choices, He doesn’t want to force us to love him, what would be the point in that? He wants us to experience life the way even He had to while He was on this earth, with the good and the bad, and when bad things do happen like flipping your car and totaling it when you have no money…he wants us to lean on Him for strength and grow in faith.

I also believe that while God did allow me to wreck our car, He also saved my life.  What if that window hadn’t been open? What if  I hadn’t been wearing my seat belt? What if another car had been involved? What if, What if, what if…trust me I’ve thought of it all but it comes down to this simple fact, God still has a purpose for me. If you read my last blog you know that a lot of things are about to start changing in my life. As much as I try to trust God and what he is doing, there are still bad days…There are still days where I wonder if I’m ever going to have a job that I love, if I will ever really change someone’s life besides my own childs. After the accident I realized that I will fullfill a purpose before my time is done here on this earth. My faith in God has grown leaps and bounds overnight. There is no way that God did not hear my prayer that morning when I asked Him to keep me safe thirty minutes before I crashed. There is no possible way that there is not a God when I walked away from the scene with maybe five minor abrasions. I also believe it was God who sent me the dream, I don’t know why, but I believe He did. The world would call it a precognition and all of the uneasy feelings in my gut would be called premonitions…the world would say that it is our mind and body’s way of allowing our genes to survive, but after experiencing all of this first hand I would say it was definitely the Holy Spirit.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Brenda Ross permalink
    July 12, 2010 6:57 PM

    What a testimony of the Lords protection and grace. We are so thankful that you are alright. God has great plans for you and Gi, I truely believe that! Love, Aunt Brenda

  2. Giles permalink
    July 14, 2010 8:40 PM

    Well the tires weren’t that bald…. kiss

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