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Grown Up Shoes

December 17, 2010

For those of you who don’t know, my husband and I have been living long distance for over two months while I finish up college. In the past couple of months I have had to put on  ‘ my grown up shoes’ and live on my own. I have learned a lot. I’ve become more educated and experienced in my career choice of health promotion, I have been more dependent on the Lord for strength and have grown closer to him, and I have even gotten somewhat of a college experience living with roommates.

I have learned to live on my own and my confidence has grown because now I know I don’t need Giles to survive.  I don’t need him anymore to assure my decisions are sound, I don’t need him to tell me which way to go in the airport or on the road, and I don’t need him to tell me my hair looks beautiful. This may sound harsh, but he and I would both tell you it really is a good thing.I think that when you are so dependent on your man, it really places a burden on him that he cannot fulfill.

I also feel that being apart for the past two months has helped each of us develop ourselves individually. I can really tell a difference in our relationship since I have been back visiting him over Christmas break. I am not so needy and he recognizes that. His confidence has grown as well in his new job as a national park ranger. Now instead of fighting to win every battle, we simply realize that we both have something different but of equal value to offer each other. This is not to say we will never fight again, we are both strong willed and stubborn, but I just think we have learned to appreciate each other more and not take the other’s valuable characteristics for granted.

I want you to understand that I do not say any of this in an independent or feminist tone and I am not saying that I can be successful completely on my own without anyones help. I need the Lord most of all and if it wasn’t for him I would not be the woman I am today. I said earlier my confidence has grown, but I guess I need to rephrase that. My confidence has grown in the Lord. He has helped me grow and learn and be happy with who I am and He is the one who knew that this time apart from my husband would help me with that.

I also want to be sure you understand that I love being married! I don’t need my husband to answer all of my questions or doubts, but I do appreciate having him to bounce ideas off . I did miss him very deeply while we were apart. There are some things he brings to my life that compliment me and I could not experience without him. I am typically a pretty serious person with a lot of deep internal thoughts, Giles on the other hand is goofy and he makes me smile every single day. He also brings adventure and excitement to my life. He is my inspiration for this blog and I already have a couple of stories brewing in my head for you to read in the very near future that have happened in the last week since I have been back with him. He loves me and as Frank Sinatra says ” Your nobody until somebody loves you.” You can be confident in who you are and know where you are going in life and be successful, but until you experience truly being loved there is something missing in your heart. This may not mean being loved by a person , it could mean experiencing God’s love. Whatever the case may be I feel that experiencing love is an important part of who you are.

I know this blog has a lot of controversial topics from both sides of the fence. Those of you who are a little to the right might think I’m overboard on finding my independence. Those of you who are slightly more liberal would probably disagree and be offended by the statement , ” your nobody until somebody loves you.”

Well, whatever your thoughts are that’s fine by me. The  differing opinions and experiences of this world are what make life interesting. The bottom line is I am growing up and the Lord is molding me into the kind of woman I need to be for my man.

I would love to hear your opinion on the topic!

One Comment leave one →
  1. December 18, 2010 3:28 AM


    This is AWESOME. I’m so glad to know you and Giles. You both are an inspiration to MANY! You brought up so many GREAT points in this blog. Trust me, if there was any one to say you’re wrong for writing this, it’s only because they aren’t fortunate enough to know the wondrous things You and Gi know. Love you both SO much! Can’t wait for ya’lls visit to England! 😀

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